Let's Get Physical

Oh how I love a provocative title. However, unlike Ms. Olivia Newton-John, I'm referring to getting my baby-blown abs back to their previous shape.

Oh how I love Pilates. I think my first pilates experience was at an American Ballet Theater Summer Course when I was 14. Being the weak little thing that I was, I should have pounced on it then, but my true initiation didn't really happen until the PNB days. I have fond/horrified memories of my first go on the Reformer (yes, that's the real name of the most famous Pilates apparatus). I almost fell off doing stomach massage (yes, that's the real name of the exercise). I did fall off the Chair once... another story.

Anyway, Pilates is an amazing breath-based, core strengthening and stretching system. It does wonders for your whole body. I attribute some of my great birthing skills to Pilates and its ancestor, yoga. I love it because it is gentle, effective, and beautiful. I will say this, though: it ain't for getting skinny. It helps because it lengthens muscle and firms you, but it's not aerobic enough to really melt any fat off of you. Unless, you don't need to lose much. So, don't be mad at it and say it doesn't work if that's why you're using it. Pilates and I are friends, and I have its back!

I don't want to lose weight. I'm just fine; I'm not freakish dancer weight (which was healthy and naturally attained), but I'm still thin for my height bracket. NOW, before any of my friends (yes, YOU) start getting internally pissed that I'm even writing about this subject, please recall that you've got to see this whole post from the perspective of a brain-washed former ballet dancer. I don't think I'm fat so don't call me up all worried. I'm writing this because it is part of my Rocky-esque process, and the routine that follows WILL, if done properly and faithfully, tone your abs too!

Each morning my "training partner" and I do this ab series:

• warm-up with some low back flexion and extension and ab prep (gentle, slow sit ups)
• 1 set of Hundreds (google it- I'm too tired to explain it)
  
• 20-30 "regular" crunches
• 15 with both knees dropped to the left (for the obliques... no more muffin-top!)
  
• 20 regulars
• 15 with both knees dropped to the right
• 20 regulars
• 20 alternating knees
  (for this one: curl your shoulder blades up off the floor into the height of a crunch position. lift and extend one leg out in front of you at a 45 degree angle from the floor, lower if you can handle it and keep your back pressed to the ground. pull the other knee into your chest. switch your legs back in forth. use your arms to GENTLY take hold of the knee that's coming in)
• 20 bicycles (same as above but put your arms behind your head, elbows wide, like your crunching. twist your body as your knee comes in so that your opposite elbow and knee *could* touch)
• 20 scissors (body up in crunched position. legs up; feet pointed straight up at the ceiling. "scissor," switch your legs back and forth. you GENTLY pull one leg towards you while the other lowers as much as possible, keeping your belly button pulled in and your back pressed to the floor)
• 20 outs-n-ins (this is MY name for it, though it is like a Teaser. crunch your body pulling both knees into your chest with your arms. then, extend both your arms and legs away from your core while keeping your chest off the ground. bonus points for making pretty, balletic circles with your arms as they move out and in in coordination with your legs. Brendan always comments on my pointed toes.)

YOU'RE DONE! Roll onto your belly and press your chest away from the floor to stretch your abs. This little routine is easy and only takes about 10 or 15 minutes, but it WORKS. You will be sore. Do it every other day or so until the soreness isn't so bad. Then, do it everyday. Then, do it morning and night. Then, add more repetitions or do the whole thing through twice. You could have better abs in about two weeks and MUCH better abs in 6 weeks.

A few tips:

• Good music ideas (although Pilates is NOT done to music) include Cake's Comfort Eagle, Radiohead's Amnesiac (track 5 is AWESOME for this), or White Stripes 7 Nation Army
• Keep your belly flat! If you are exercising and you look down and see your abs pooching out it a bar shape, quit it! If you exercise that way, they will look that way when you're done -- POOCHY. You can keep your abs flat by pulling your belly button in towards the ground, crunching up by imagining your lower ribs pushing down through your back towards the floor, and breathing in and out while you work. It is hard to stay poochy when your diaphragm pulls up into your chest cavity as you exhale. Exhale on the work, as you crunch up.
• Use a partner. Husbands do well, and I'm sure their abs could use it too. Be nice to each other though. Brendan and I work well together b/c I can kick his butt in ab work, but he kicks mine in arm and chest work.
  

Stay tuned for the "get your bu-thighs in shape" post