The Audition

The audition was yesterday. It was *supposed* to be held at Westlake Dance Center in Northgate; we wound up dancing in the parking lot... but I'll get to that.

Given the relative stress-level of this audition against other auditions I've done, I shouldn't have been nervous at all. However, I was nervous for a whole new set of reasons this time. First of all, I knew there was a serious risk of improv requirements... these modern dance types love that stuff. I can improv if I have to... but I mostly LOATHE it. I like to choreograph, and I like to dance alone; but, improv is another ball of wax. You have to drum up creativity based on someone else's idea or music or feeling right on the spot. I can do it, but I don't love it. I always wind up looking like an idiot. For those of you who remember, I was reminded of a certain Bon Marche commercial audition in which we were asked to "take this purse and dance- express good feelings about the change of the season." UGGHHH- most embarrassing moment of my life, and I would pay very good money for the video tape.

They did make me improv. Good thing I spent some time dancing in the living room before I left, so I at least had some material already somewhat in my body to work from.

The other reason I was nervous was the interview requirement... not that I don't love, as an ESFJ, being asked to talk about myself ;). I can't help but come off as myself in situations like that, though. So, if myself is not what they are looking for... then I will not get whatever position I'm trying for. It's a blessing and a curse. I came away feeling like I was a little too jesky. I tend to scare people at first, but they always like me later. One of my favorite things I've ever been told: "I thought you were going to be all weird, but turns out you're just honest and fun." Thanks :)

Final, and only REAL reason for nervousness: dancing for people who really wanted to see me as a dancer. They wanted to know who I was and wanted to see it in my dancing. Now, it could be argued that all dance companies/teachers/choreographers want that... but they usually also want to know if you fit what they want you to be. I don't feel that with Sixth Day, and I don't quite know how to react. I'm perfectly happy to emote in character, but to just be myself... that's a different thing. For someone who can talk about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, personal with almost anyone, you'd think this would be easy. I'll have to delve deeper into the subject as I encounter my feelings further. For now, I just know that I really, really want to be able to dance as myself, and I'm just now starting to learn how to dance as this new self. I'm old tiny mascot from my Lone Star Ballet days and Jessuperadicawesome from the PNB days still - and I'm so glad to get to be them again- but I'm also this new person: mommy, injured, older, humbler, wizened, etc.

So, I got there. The interview was good. I enjoyed it. I'll share one question from it for you to ponder, so you too can get in touch with your deep self: What kind of car and what color would you be and why? No, I'm not telling you what I said. But, I did say, "umm, well I'm happy to answer this, but I have to tell you that I have a Business BA in HR so that really affects how I'm going to answer..."

The parking lot was a bit disorienting. They for some reason didn't have keys to the studio. Now, I've danced in parking lots MANY times (thanks, LSB!). In fact, I once did a show in the back of a flatbed truck in front of the Potter County Courthouse in Amarillo, TX and my picture made the front page... and my bloomer covered crotch featured prominently thanks to the West Texas winds. So, it wasn't that alarming, But, it was difficult to dance in a new way without mirrors on a "raked stage" complete with cigarette butts and rocks. I enjoyed the choreography, though.



I got in.