PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!
Go to www.sixthdaydance.org and click on "Performance" to find details and purchase tickets. I'm very excited for this weekend. We have a Saturday evening and a Sunday matinee.
I'm sorry I haven't written more. I've got tons on my mind about it all. But, if I have spare time, I'm sleeping :).
Hope to see you there!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
For Posting's Sake
I'm WAY too tired to do this right now, but it's now or never. Ezra is taking a good nap, and I'm just going to bang something out here before I crash too. Brendan and I have tickets for The 39 Steps tonight, so I want to be fresh and rested this evening.
So, here we go.
It's been generally good. I'm covered in fresh bruises every week because I'm new at (or at least unpracticed) at rolling around on the floor. I love every bruise and wear them like they are the stickers I got at the doctor's office for being a brave girl during my shots. I have enjoyed dancing modern for the last month, though my inner ballerina is often wondering what the hell is going on. Our company class is engaging for my body, brain, and heart and is therefore a testament to the talent of our teacher/choreographer, Assistant Director, Angela. It has been really fun getting to know my fellow company members, and I hope to become very close to each of them. Dancing is such an intimate sport-art.
Each week, my tiny pooch that contains Snap, our newest baby, gets poochier, and I LOVE to think about how I'm dancing with him or her. I wonder if the baby feels my adrenaline and endorphine rushes along with the increased oxygenation and blood flow. I hope so. :) This pregnancy has been my healthiest yet, and I just already have this sense that I've got one fun, tough cookie growing in there.
My only complaint, really, is that I don't love all the choreography that we're rehearsing. Now, you better still come to the show because it is interesting and entertaining. It's just a real challenge to me. There's a lot of us having to fill in the blanks with improv. You know how I feel about improv... not great. Also, I tend to be much more balletic than the choreographers want, so I'm continually trying to dance in a way that does not jive with my own aesthetic views. But, that's being a dancer, so I'm doing my best to adapt. I think some of my difficulty has to do with just being out of practice. And, honestly, my skin thinned some. I can take correction, but I don't think I've ever had the sense that someone doesn't like the way my dancing generally looks. At PNB, they only take you if you already have the look they want, so I never really had to take that sort of criticism. Don't get me wrong; I'm sure that my directors think I'm lovely, and they have said so. I just can see by the dancers they put on the pedestal that they are looking for something that ain't really me. But, I'll get there. Like I said, I'm out of practice.
Ok, now for my brief dancer version of a geek-out:
I DO like the choreography for the trio piece that I'm in. The beginning parts are not my aesthetic, shall we say, but I enjoy the challenge of trying to be "thrashy and jerky." BUT, the latter parts of the piece are real dancing that, believe it or not, require technique and training. It has tons of turns, and there is one pass that is particularly challenging. It's all modern-y, so I don't quite know how to translate it exactly but it's something like this:
double attitude turn in plie, about face, inside a la second turn into inside pirouette (triple, thank you very much), into this coupe jete barrel turn sort of thing (the modernies call it a "C" jump), finished with a conniption. That all happens in about 10 counts. I love it :)
So, here we go.
It's been generally good. I'm covered in fresh bruises every week because I'm new at (or at least unpracticed) at rolling around on the floor. I love every bruise and wear them like they are the stickers I got at the doctor's office for being a brave girl during my shots. I have enjoyed dancing modern for the last month, though my inner ballerina is often wondering what the hell is going on. Our company class is engaging for my body, brain, and heart and is therefore a testament to the talent of our teacher/choreographer, Assistant Director, Angela. It has been really fun getting to know my fellow company members, and I hope to become very close to each of them. Dancing is such an intimate sport-art.
Each week, my tiny pooch that contains Snap, our newest baby, gets poochier, and I LOVE to think about how I'm dancing with him or her. I wonder if the baby feels my adrenaline and endorphine rushes along with the increased oxygenation and blood flow. I hope so. :) This pregnancy has been my healthiest yet, and I just already have this sense that I've got one fun, tough cookie growing in there.
My only complaint, really, is that I don't love all the choreography that we're rehearsing. Now, you better still come to the show because it is interesting and entertaining. It's just a real challenge to me. There's a lot of us having to fill in the blanks with improv. You know how I feel about improv... not great. Also, I tend to be much more balletic than the choreographers want, so I'm continually trying to dance in a way that does not jive with my own aesthetic views. But, that's being a dancer, so I'm doing my best to adapt. I think some of my difficulty has to do with just being out of practice. And, honestly, my skin thinned some. I can take correction, but I don't think I've ever had the sense that someone doesn't like the way my dancing generally looks. At PNB, they only take you if you already have the look they want, so I never really had to take that sort of criticism. Don't get me wrong; I'm sure that my directors think I'm lovely, and they have said so. I just can see by the dancers they put on the pedestal that they are looking for something that ain't really me. But, I'll get there. Like I said, I'm out of practice.
Ok, now for my brief dancer version of a geek-out:
I DO like the choreography for the trio piece that I'm in. The beginning parts are not my aesthetic, shall we say, but I enjoy the challenge of trying to be "thrashy and jerky." BUT, the latter parts of the piece are real dancing that, believe it or not, require technique and training. It has tons of turns, and there is one pass that is particularly challenging. It's all modern-y, so I don't quite know how to translate it exactly but it's something like this:
double attitude turn in plie, about face, inside a la second turn into inside pirouette (triple, thank you very much), into this coupe jete barrel turn sort of thing (the modernies call it a "C" jump), finished with a conniption. That all happens in about 10 counts. I love it :)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
2 Important Notices
1. I really want to do a post about dancing as a preggo... but I'm too tired from dancing and being preggo. So, stay tuned; I guess! I'm in week 9, and we got our first photo of little Snap on Tuesday.
2. THE SHOWS: November 14th and 15th. I'll do some kind of big party somewhere after the matinee on Sunday the 15th, and any reader of this blog is definitely invited :)... unless I don't know you and you're creepy ;). THESE DATES ARE A CORRECTION. Change your calendar from the 8th to the 15th.
2. THE SHOWS: November 14th and 15th. I'll do some kind of big party somewhere after the matinee on Sunday the 15th, and any reader of this blog is definitely invited :)... unless I don't know you and you're creepy ;). THESE DATES ARE A CORRECTION. Change your calendar from the 8th to the 15th.
Monday, September 14, 2009
A Teaser
I have MUCH more to say about my first day than what follows, but it was laundry day. Laundry day= movie night + folding.
All through this process, I've felt as if I have just been going through the motions. Not that I haven't been seriously considering each new step, it just hasn't felt real. Well, not until yesterday at about 12:30 in World Wrapps where I burst into tears. It finally struck me (and I mean STRUCK) that I really am dancing again. Lord willing, I'll be on a real stage with a real audience (this means YOU. Save the date: November 8th). I got so emotional about it all. I decided that it's like being pregnant again after a miscarriage. I'm thrilled, but I'm also still dealing with the sadness from what happened before and the fear that it could happen again.
There are many more layers to that bawling session held in the restaurant and our car yesterday, and I do want the chance to unpack them all. I seem to do that best via blogging, so you're in for a real treat ;). Now, I'm just eager to get to Silent Light, so I'll just say this one more thing: My husband was a wonderful, warm, strong, loving force for me yesterday, and he even drove me around the block to let me get all my sobs out before pulling it *somewhat* together to walk in the studio. BRENDAN ROCKS!!!
All through this process, I've felt as if I have just been going through the motions. Not that I haven't been seriously considering each new step, it just hasn't felt real. Well, not until yesterday at about 12:30 in World Wrapps where I burst into tears. It finally struck me (and I mean STRUCK) that I really am dancing again. Lord willing, I'll be on a real stage with a real audience (this means YOU. Save the date: November 8th). I got so emotional about it all. I decided that it's like being pregnant again after a miscarriage. I'm thrilled, but I'm also still dealing with the sadness from what happened before and the fear that it could happen again.
There are many more layers to that bawling session held in the restaurant and our car yesterday, and I do want the chance to unpack them all. I seem to do that best via blogging, so you're in for a real treat ;). Now, I'm just eager to get to Silent Light, so I'll just say this one more thing: My husband was a wonderful, warm, strong, loving force for me yesterday, and he even drove me around the block to let me get all my sobs out before pulling it *somewhat* together to walk in the studio. BRENDAN ROCKS!!!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Getting Started
Today I attended 4.5 hours of a 5 hour orientation for the company. It was a lovely time, really; though the nearly 2 hour long presentation/explanation of the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test and its applications was a wee bit tiring and tedious considering I studied the test ad nauseum in my program at the UW Business School. However, even that I thought was helpful. The directors show a real interest and dedication to lead a cohesive team, and I love that. They want us to know each other and work for open, honest communication. So cool and, I believe, not of this world.
It's such a far cry from my former experiences of being dumped in a bowl of fighting beta fish (who all want to be ALPHA... including me, honestly). I'm pretty sure that most company directors and even ballet school directors are not interested in helping the dancers get to know and understand where each other is "coming from." Though, I love the professionalism that is naturally bred into dancers at any quality school. We all managed to get along well enough just because we knew how we were expected to behave and only ever wanted to be noticed for our dancing... not our reputation as the bitchy one... although, some did rather enjoy that label. Still, we didn't have any kumbaya moments - except for a few really awkward, forced times. This stuff with 6th Day feels so much more authentic and comfortable.
One really great feature of honest communication and an attempt to understand each other is the safeguard it sets against gossip and slander. Although, those two are pretty slippery snakes that can slide under even the best of intentions. But, it does make sense that a company culture that encourages sharing of feelings in a healthy way naturally results in the discouragement of sharing in an unhealthy way i.e. complaining, gossiping etc. And, I gotta say, gossip is the bread and butter of a dancer's social life in the mainstream. No one will ever convince me otherwise. You know it's true.
All of this is just one more reason that I'm flabbergasted by this opportunity. Quality relationships and dancing? YAY! Although, I don't want to belittle any of the quality relationships I was blessed with from all my dancing days that I still enjoy. Shout out to you guys; and see you in October, Carla!
So, about only being there for 4.5 hours. Yeah, I'm a space cadet these days for reasons that will remain unmentioned a bit longer. I thought it started at 1... actually, I thought it started at 1:30, but I was shooting for 1 b/c I HATE being late. Well, at 12:15 I logged into my email to get directions; and, lo and behold, it started at NOON. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! They were nice about it, but according to the printed agenda, I missed a lot of the good stuff.
My fear of lateness (yes, FEAR) stems back to ballet too. Mrs. Hess would scream in a harsh banshee voice at even 5 year old girls if they were late. Yeah, Mrs. Hess, I'm sure it's the 5 year old's fault that she's late to ballet class. That woman put the fear in me, and it is alive and well. I leave you with this bit of life coaching: Don't be a scary witch to little children; it messes them up.
It's such a far cry from my former experiences of being dumped in a bowl of fighting beta fish (who all want to be ALPHA... including me, honestly). I'm pretty sure that most company directors and even ballet school directors are not interested in helping the dancers get to know and understand where each other is "coming from." Though, I love the professionalism that is naturally bred into dancers at any quality school. We all managed to get along well enough just because we knew how we were expected to behave and only ever wanted to be noticed for our dancing... not our reputation as the bitchy one... although, some did rather enjoy that label. Still, we didn't have any kumbaya moments - except for a few really awkward, forced times. This stuff with 6th Day feels so much more authentic and comfortable.
One really great feature of honest communication and an attempt to understand each other is the safeguard it sets against gossip and slander. Although, those two are pretty slippery snakes that can slide under even the best of intentions. But, it does make sense that a company culture that encourages sharing of feelings in a healthy way naturally results in the discouragement of sharing in an unhealthy way i.e. complaining, gossiping etc. And, I gotta say, gossip is the bread and butter of a dancer's social life in the mainstream. No one will ever convince me otherwise. You know it's true.
All of this is just one more reason that I'm flabbergasted by this opportunity. Quality relationships and dancing? YAY! Although, I don't want to belittle any of the quality relationships I was blessed with from all my dancing days that I still enjoy. Shout out to you guys; and see you in October, Carla!
So, about only being there for 4.5 hours. Yeah, I'm a space cadet these days for reasons that will remain unmentioned a bit longer. I thought it started at 1... actually, I thought it started at 1:30, but I was shooting for 1 b/c I HATE being late. Well, at 12:15 I logged into my email to get directions; and, lo and behold, it started at NOON. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! They were nice about it, but according to the printed agenda, I missed a lot of the good stuff.
My fear of lateness (yes, FEAR) stems back to ballet too. Mrs. Hess would scream in a harsh banshee voice at even 5 year old girls if they were late. Yeah, Mrs. Hess, I'm sure it's the 5 year old's fault that she's late to ballet class. That woman put the fear in me, and it is alive and well. I leave you with this bit of life coaching: Don't be a scary witch to little children; it messes them up.
Monday, August 31, 2009
The Audition
The audition was yesterday. It was *supposed* to be held at Westlake Dance Center in Northgate; we wound up dancing in the parking lot... but I'll get to that.
Given the relative stress-level of this audition against other auditions I've done, I shouldn't have been nervous at all. However, I was nervous for a whole new set of reasons this time. First of all, I knew there was a serious risk of improv requirements... these modern dance types love that stuff. I can improv if I have to... but I mostly LOATHE it. I like to choreograph, and I like to dance alone; but, improv is another ball of wax. You have to drum up creativity based on someone else's idea or music or feeling right on the spot. I can do it, but I don't love it. I always wind up looking like an idiot. For those of you who remember, I was reminded of a certain Bon Marche commercial audition in which we were asked to "take this purse and dance- express good feelings about the change of the season." UGGHHH- most embarrassing moment of my life, and I would pay very good money for the video tape.
They did make me improv. Good thing I spent some time dancing in the living room before I left, so I at least had some material already somewhat in my body to work from.
The other reason I was nervous was the interview requirement... not that I don't love, as an ESFJ, being asked to talk about myself ;). I can't help but come off as myself in situations like that, though. So, if myself is not what they are looking for... then I will not get whatever position I'm trying for. It's a blessing and a curse. I came away feeling like I was a little too jesky. I tend to scare people at first, but they always like me later. One of my favorite things I've ever been told: "I thought you were going to be all weird, but turns out you're just honest and fun." Thanks :)
Final, and only REAL reason for nervousness: dancing for people who really wanted to see me as a dancer. They wanted to know who I was and wanted to see it in my dancing. Now, it could be argued that all dance companies/teachers/choreographers want that... but they usually also want to know if you fit what they want you to be. I don't feel that with Sixth Day, and I don't quite know how to react. I'm perfectly happy to emote in character, but to just be myself... that's a different thing. For someone who can talk about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, personal with almost anyone, you'd think this would be easy. I'll have to delve deeper into the subject as I encounter my feelings further. For now, I just know that I really, really want to be able to dance as myself, and I'm just now starting to learn how to dance as this new self. I'm old tiny mascot from my Lone Star Ballet days and Jessuperadicawesome from the PNB days still - and I'm so glad to get to be them again- but I'm also this new person: mommy, injured, older, humbler, wizened, etc.
So, I got there. The interview was good. I enjoyed it. I'll share one question from it for you to ponder, so you too can get in touch with your deep self: What kind of car and what color would you be and why? No, I'm not telling you what I said. But, I did say, "umm, well I'm happy to answer this, but I have to tell you that I have a Business BA in HR so that really affects how I'm going to answer..."
The parking lot was a bit disorienting. They for some reason didn't have keys to the studio. Now, I've danced in parking lots MANY times (thanks, LSB!). In fact, I once did a show in the back of a flatbed truck in front of the Potter County Courthouse in Amarillo, TX and my picture made the front page... and my bloomer covered crotch featured prominently thanks to the West Texas winds. So, it wasn't that alarming, But, it was difficult to dance in a new way without mirrors on a "raked stage" complete with cigarette butts and rocks. I enjoyed the choreography, though.
I got in.
Given the relative stress-level of this audition against other auditions I've done, I shouldn't have been nervous at all. However, I was nervous for a whole new set of reasons this time. First of all, I knew there was a serious risk of improv requirements... these modern dance types love that stuff. I can improv if I have to... but I mostly LOATHE it. I like to choreograph, and I like to dance alone; but, improv is another ball of wax. You have to drum up creativity based on someone else's idea or music or feeling right on the spot. I can do it, but I don't love it. I always wind up looking like an idiot. For those of you who remember, I was reminded of a certain Bon Marche commercial audition in which we were asked to "take this purse and dance- express good feelings about the change of the season." UGGHHH- most embarrassing moment of my life, and I would pay very good money for the video tape.
They did make me improv. Good thing I spent some time dancing in the living room before I left, so I at least had some material already somewhat in my body to work from.
The other reason I was nervous was the interview requirement... not that I don't love, as an ESFJ, being asked to talk about myself ;). I can't help but come off as myself in situations like that, though. So, if myself is not what they are looking for... then I will not get whatever position I'm trying for. It's a blessing and a curse. I came away feeling like I was a little too jesky. I tend to scare people at first, but they always like me later. One of my favorite things I've ever been told: "I thought you were going to be all weird, but turns out you're just honest and fun." Thanks :)
Final, and only REAL reason for nervousness: dancing for people who really wanted to see me as a dancer. They wanted to know who I was and wanted to see it in my dancing. Now, it could be argued that all dance companies/teachers/choreographers want that... but they usually also want to know if you fit what they want you to be. I don't feel that with Sixth Day, and I don't quite know how to react. I'm perfectly happy to emote in character, but to just be myself... that's a different thing. For someone who can talk about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, personal with almost anyone, you'd think this would be easy. I'll have to delve deeper into the subject as I encounter my feelings further. For now, I just know that I really, really want to be able to dance as myself, and I'm just now starting to learn how to dance as this new self. I'm old tiny mascot from my Lone Star Ballet days and Jessuperadicawesome from the PNB days still - and I'm so glad to get to be them again- but I'm also this new person: mommy, injured, older, humbler, wizened, etc.
So, I got there. The interview was good. I enjoyed it. I'll share one question from it for you to ponder, so you too can get in touch with your deep self: What kind of car and what color would you be and why? No, I'm not telling you what I said. But, I did say, "umm, well I'm happy to answer this, but I have to tell you that I have a Business BA in HR so that really affects how I'm going to answer..."
The parking lot was a bit disorienting. They for some reason didn't have keys to the studio. Now, I've danced in parking lots MANY times (thanks, LSB!). In fact, I once did a show in the back of a flatbed truck in front of the Potter County Courthouse in Amarillo, TX and my picture made the front page... and my bloomer covered crotch featured prominently thanks to the West Texas winds. So, it wasn't that alarming, But, it was difficult to dance in a new way without mirrors on a "raked stage" complete with cigarette butts and rocks. I enjoyed the choreography, though.
I got in.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wavering
I've reached that point that I always come to when I get this ballet-bee in my bonnet. I'm a little bit chicken. I don't know about this whole plan... it's a little scary. It's much easier to mope and be sad about dancing every few weeks than to put myself through all this again. The difference, though, this time is that I have a tangible, achievable (I think) goal ahead of me. I'm really eager to have a new group of people and a new studio to do all this. This class-at-PNB stuff is way to psychologically challenging. My mother-in-law called me brave for doing it, and, gosh darn it, I think she's right!
I took class on Wednesday at PNB, and the teacher was one of my most frequent instructors back in the day. For those of you who would know, here are a few clues:
But, this time, I was able to build a bridge (and get over it). I ain't what I used to be... SO WHAT!? Well, it is sad, but I'm starting to feel like there's no use in crying over spilled milk. Granted, my situation was/is a little more serious than spilled milk, but still. I'm a different dancer now. I tried to enjoy dancing old steps with a different body and new feelings, and for the most part, I did. It's ok that things have changed. In fact, it's GOOD that things have changed. Life experience makes it's way into the productions of the artist. I think the sadness over dance that I've known makes it possible for me to value it in a way that others may not be able. And besides...
I can still developpe side higher than the whole room ;)
I took class on Wednesday at PNB, and the teacher was one of my most frequent instructors back in the day. For those of you who would know, here are a few clues:
- Would let us do the DanceWorks video instead of class
- Always stole our Krispy Kremes
- Likes to watch herself tendue :)
But, this time, I was able to build a bridge (and get over it). I ain't what I used to be... SO WHAT!? Well, it is sad, but I'm starting to feel like there's no use in crying over spilled milk. Granted, my situation was/is a little more serious than spilled milk, but still. I'm a different dancer now. I tried to enjoy dancing old steps with a different body and new feelings, and for the most part, I did. It's ok that things have changed. In fact, it's GOOD that things have changed. Life experience makes it's way into the productions of the artist. I think the sadness over dance that I've known makes it possible for me to value it in a way that others may not be able. And besides...
I can still developpe side higher than the whole room ;)
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